House Rules

No one likes to be asked to abide by rules, especially when you are supposed to be "away from it all". However, the rules are pretty simple and practical once you have spent any time on the coast. I really don't know how the rules were started. I would guess the credit should go to my great grandmother Caroline Chaires, because it was her house first and her daughter (my great aunt) Kakey is the source of many of the ones that were repetitively given.

Over the years, I am sure that some rules have been dropped and some never really took hold. For example, back when there were wild hogs roaming around in the woods there was a fence surrounding the yard. I am sure it was very important to keep the gates closed, otherwise the wild pigs would have gotten into the yard and rooted up the lawn. I have also heard how my great grandmother Caroline Chaires didn't want people shooting quail behind the house. As the story is told, she tried to tell Reynolds Lewis he couldn't and he told her he could. Supposedly, Reynolds Lewis was one of the few people who give her those kind of answers. Similarly, I believe my mom was involved in asking the Wilsons to keep from riding their horses on the beach. I wish I could remember their exact answer.

Growing up it is hard to take in the rules from the adults, especially when those rules aren't coming from the usual source - our parents. The recitation of the rules from Kakey often made her unpopular with some of my cousins. I have never had a problem with the rules or hearing them, and I like to think of myself as a quick learner (aside from continual boating mishaps). I also believe that I am Kakey's favorite great nephew, so perhaps I could do no wrong. My cousin's I am afraid to say were misled down a potentially dangerous path by my brother in the form of the infamous "Kakey Trap". Not having been a part of this plot, I can't say with certainty if it really was my brother or my cousin Cary who derived this scheme. Having decided that they had had enough of Kakey, they decided to dig a pit on the beach in front of our house. They then covered this pit with thin sticks and seaweed so that when Kakey came down to the beach she would step on the seaweed and fall into the pit, where upon she would realize her misjudgement in telling her great nieces and nephews to "rinse their feet before coming inside" or "close the door quickly, don't let the mosquitos in". Thankfully, one of our parents caught wind of this plot, otherwise, Kakey may have been made a cripple.

My cousins and I will always remember Kakey for these rules and perhaps one day pass them on to another generation. I know that the beach house has been a favorite place for Kakey in her life. In the times that she didn't have her great nieces and nephews to boss, I am sure that she and her friends had "grand times" at the coast. It's not hard for me to remember those days growing up when Maryann and Phil Shuford and Dottie Rickards would all be sitting on the porch having their drinks and most likely reminiscing about the good times.

The Rules
1. Keep the doors closed. Mosquitos will take any opportunity presented to get in the house. There is nothing more annoying trying to sleep at night with the buzz of mosquitos around your ear.
2. Rinse your feet before coming into the house. This is the beach and your feet get dirty or sandy. If you have sandy feet and you lie on one of the beds on the porch, you just got sand in someone's bed. Right after mosquitos in the ear on the annoying scale.
3. Don't sit in a cane chair with a wet bathing suit. Cane is not water proof and will rot pretty fast if it gets wet. Re-caning a chair ain't easy or cheap. There are hard bottom chairs you can sit on with a wet bathing suit.
4. Don't leave food out. It is very humid, so food gets stale fast. We have roaches and ants that can't be stopped from coming in and will invade any open bags of chips, cookies, etc. Ants will also go after fruit.
5. If you are going off in a boat, tell someone where you will be. You will regret not doing this once you've ever been stranded.
6. Don't drink the tap water. The water comes out of a well in the backyard. No sense in risking it.
7. Conserve water. The forementioned well will run dry if a lot of people are in the house and use the water too freely.
8. When walking in the water, drag your feet. Better to kick up a stingaree than step on one.
9. Discard fish parts smartly. Don't drop heads and guts in the water while others are swimming. We haven't had a shark attack yet, but no need to ring the dinner bell.
10. Respect your neighbors. The houses are close together and the proximity to water helps the sound carry. Mom and Dad have called the Franklin County sheriff numerous times over the years on the young adult parties that went late into the night. Paybacks are way overdue.
11. Don't leave chairs and belongings on the beach. If you are not using them, bring them back up to the yard.